To Text or Not to Text – That is the Question
In case you didn’t know, October 30th is National Text Your Ex Day.
Yes, that is a thing (I mean, c’mon, they’ve practically got a national day for everything.) And, honestly, as weird as this one might be, I don’t know if anything can top National Answer Your Cat’s Question day (which, by the way, is January 22.)
But, back to the upcoming “holiday.” Should you celebrate by texting your ex? Is reaching out to an ex always a terrible idea? Let’s discuss!
Related Read: What to do on National Text Your Ex Day 2021
What is National Text Your Ex Day?
It’s just what it sounds like – it’s an arbitrary day that someone, somewhere, came up with. Who and why, I have no clue!
But every year, it falls on October 30th. The day before Halloween, when all the ghouls and goblins come out. Doesn’t seem like much of a coincidence, then, does it? Just like many failed relationships, Halloween sees ghosts and zombies aplenty.
Related Read: Dear Dating Bitch: How to Handle the Reappearing Ex
Should You Actually Do It?
Alright, so now that you know what National Text Your Ex Day is, let’s talk about whether or not you should actually participate.
I don’t think it’s always a bad idea to text an ex, but I do think that there are certain scenarios where it’s decidedly not a good idea. On the other hand, there are some situations where I think it would be perfectly fine (maybe even good!) to go ahead and send a text on the 30th.
So, here’s some a little breakdown to help you decide which category you fall into.
Don’t Text Your Ex:
1. If You’re Still in the ‘No Contact’ Phase
This one should kind of go without saying, but I’m going to say it anyway.
If you’ve just ended a relationship with someone (as in, sometime in the last month or so), you should NOT be texting them. What you should be doing is following the No Contact rule. And an unofficial holiday is not an appropriate excuse to break said rule.
2. If You Aren’t Over Them
This is a harder one, I get – sometimes you can still have lingering feelings for someone months (even years) later. But if you’re still reeling over them, it’s probably not a good idea to send them a “Happy National Ex Day!” text.
In fact, I’ll go a step further here and say if it’s going to hurt you in any way, don’t text them. Will you be upset if they don’t reply? If they reply saying something unkind? If so, then skip it.
3. If it was a Particularly Brutal Breakup
Some breakups just end badly. And sometimes, you end up with no explanation and no real closure. In those cases, trying to reach out is a pretty futile effort. Chances are, they’re not going to find it funny or cute if you message them on Text Your Ex Day.
Likewise, if you were the one who ended the relationship, you also shouldn’t reach out. That’s like rubbing salt in an open would. Don’t re-hurt someone you’ve already hurt.
4. If You’re Drunk, Lonely, or Recently Single
Really, this is sort of a blanket rule for texting your ex in general. It’s never a good idea to do it while you’re drunk and lonely – that’s just asking for trouble.
And if you’ve recently been dumped by someone else, you’re probably in a more vulnerable state. Reaching out to an ex when you’re alone, sad, and vulnerable is a terrible idea. That’s how you end up making serious mistakes like I did! (Read about that awful experience here.)
5. If You’re Still Angry or Bitter
Just like it’s a bad idea to text an ex you still love, it’s a bad idea to text one you still hate. Or, at least, one you still feel really pissed off at. As they say, when emotions run high, logic runs low.
So, really, if you feel anything about your ex other than ambivalence, curiosity, or genuine friendship, you shouldn’t bother sending them a text.
Text Your Ex:
1. If Doing So will be Helpful to YOU
Really think about this. Do you feel like there are things you need to say to your ex? Do you want to apologize for something in the past? Do you want to try and gain some closure? Will texting them – whether or not they reply – give you a sense of closure?
If texting them will help you, then by all means, go for it! But again, don’t do it if getting no response is going to upset you.
2. If You’re on Good Terms
If you and your ex are friends or had a reasonably amicable breakup, there’s nothing wrong with sending them a quick, “Did you know it’s National Text Your Ex Day?” on the 30th.
In fact, some exes might even be able to laugh about the silly National Holiday together!
3. If You Want to Be on Good Terms
Maybe you’re not exactly friendly, but if there are no hard feelings and you want to open up the possibility of a future friendship, this might be a good way to try.
You could send a heartfelt message, letting them know that you care for them and honestly want to catch up sometime. Or make a joke and see if that opens the door a bit.
Celebrate with an Alternative
One last suggestion here before I end this post. If you don’t feel up to sending an actual text, you can always write a letter to your ex.
Write whatever it is that you feel and then DON’T send it. Burn it, throw it away, keep it in a journal somewhere, just don’t actually mail it out. That’d be weird.
Whatever you decide to do, hopefully you have a good day regardless. And for those of you who are going through a difficult breakup, I’ve got an upcoming E-book to help you get over your heartbreak – check it out here.
What do you think about National Text Your Ex Day? Will you celebrate? Let me know in the comments below!
Thanks for reading!
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