For years, I went through one heartbreak after another believing that I was simply unlucky in relationships (or, worse, unlovable.) But, as it turns out, neither was true. In reality, I was just another woman making some major dating mistakes.
It took time and experience to gain the wisdom to understand what I was actually doing wrong. So, today, I’m sharing some of the biggest dating mistakes to avoid.
Top 5 Dating Mistakes To Avoid
1. Moving Too Fast
If you want a relationship, you should avoid moving too fast in the early stages of dating. As in, don’t sleep with someone on the first date.
Also, don’t commit right away. You should wait at least a month before becoming exclusive; as they say, don’t put all your eggs in one basket. Keep your options open—even if you’re not actively dating other people, don’t jump into something super serious until you’re actually ready.
If a date pressures you to become exclusive right away, that’s a huge red flag. Usually, people who do that are insecure, controlling, or overly jealous. All things best avoided.
2. Not Being Honest
You don’t need to talk about wanting marriage and kids on the first date, but you should always be honest about what you’re looking for. Telling someone you’re looking for a fun, carefree fling when in reality you want the real deal is a bad idea. Not only is it unfair to them, it’ll likely lead to heartbreak once the truth comes out.
Often, we don’t mean to be dishonest, but sometimes it happens when we try too hard to please the other person. Pretending that we’re fine with something that we’re not fine with, for example. I’ve definitely been there before, and trust me, it didn’t end well.
Don’t be afraid to walk away if someone isn’t able to meet your wants or needs.
Related Read: Personal Story: Sex with an Ex and Heartbreak Reignited
3. Investing Too Much
In case you don’t keep up with her, Kim Kardashian and Pete Davidson recently broke up. I know, I know, a lot of us saw that one coming. But, unfortunately, Pete already cemented their relationship on his body with several tattoos.
It’s not the first time the former SNL star has gotten ink for a love interest (ie, Ariana Grande) but hopefully, it’ll be the last.
One of the biggest dating mistakes you can make is being too invested too soon. Of course, getting a tattoo for a new girlfriend or boyfriend is pretty extreme, but investing too much can also look like getting overly excited after a few dates.
4. Not Investing Enough
On the other hand, don’t close yourself off too much either. While you don’t want to come across as needy, you also don’t want to play hard to get. In fact, playing any sort of games is a bad idea when it comes to love.
For those with anxious or avoidant attachment styles, this can be a hard balance to strike. But think of it like this: investing doesn’t mean going all in, it means giving something.
Sending a few flirty texts is investing well. Sending a hundred is investing too much. And sending none at all? Well, that’s not investing at all. So, try to find a happy medium.
5. Acting on Jealousy
This is a really big dating mistake women make, especially in the early stages. And, I get it! It’s hard not to wonder about that flirty Instagram comment or whether they’re still on Tinder when you’re not exclusive. But acting on your jealousy is only going to make you look insecure.
If you’re dating someone, you can ask if they’re seeing other people. And if you’re sleeping together, I think it’s more than fair to ask about that. But you have to be OK with whatever their answer is. Because the truth is, if you’re not in a relationship, they’re free to do what they want.
Once you’ve decided to make it official, though, that’s different. But, still, unless you have reason to suspect something fishy, give them the benefit of the doubt. There’s no use snooping through their phone or social media because guess what? You’ll find something to wonder about and 9 times out of 10, it’s actually nothing.
Have you made any of these mistakes before? Do you have any other dating mistakes people should avoid? Let me know in the comments below!
I don’t think I’d ever get ink for a loved one – even if I was married! These are great things to look out for. Acting on jealousy is something I’ve definitely struggled with in the past!
It’s definitely one of those tattoo ideas that people tend to regret later on!
I’ve been married a long time but #3 was always a big one for me. Great post! Thanks for sharing.
I think a lot of people struggle with that. I know I definitely did at first. But it’s important to only invest as much as the person has actually earned.
I’m pretty unlucky with the dating stuff (even Tinder doesn’t work for me). Thankfully, I learned from very early to keep my high standards up and be open on things that I want.
Making sure you keep your standards up is a really good thing to do when dating. It ensures you won’t settle for less than you deserve.
These are great tips! I have definitely made some of these mistakes in the past. It’s important to learn from them and grow.
That’s always a good way of looking at flaws and past mistakes!
I’m pretty sure at this point in my life I’m seriously unlucky in love haha! Thank you so much for sharing these tips with us lovely, all of which I couldn’t agree more with. I defiantly think I’m someone who invests to much in people, it’s something I’m slowly working on. Great post Xo
Elle – ellegracedeveson.com
I think we’ve all felt that way at one point or another.
Some great tips here Katie, I had never thought about dating this way!
It’s always good to look at your own behavior and try and improve!
As a self-proclaimed hopeless romantic but also walking dating disaster, I can certaining admit to some of these. Loved this post xoxo
Lol, no shame! I’ve made them all before as well!