The Tinder Red Flags to Watch For When Looking for Love

In my last blog post, I talked about the deal breakers women navigating the world of online dating should consider ditching. After all, it’s really hard to determine how well you might actually get along with a potential partner based on just a few photos and a paragraph.

But, as I muddled my way through the Tinder trenches, I noticed that there are some pretty big red flags you should NOT overlook.

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5 Red Flags on Tinder:

When scrolling through your Tinder matches, there are certain red flags that shouldn’t be overlooked. For these guys, just save yourself time and swipe left.

1. Overly Bitter about their Ex

I get it, we all have that one ex that really screwed us over.

That ex sucks. That ex is literally the WORST. ?

So, it’s totally fine if you meet someone who doesn’t say glowing things about their last girlfriend (in fact, if they DO say glowing things, that might be another red flag), but there is a line.

If you’re talking to someone on Tinder and they start going on about how TERRIBLE their ex was before you even meet them, that’s a pretty bad sign.

Same goes for anyone who tells you that their ex was a “whore” or “crazy.” Maybe they were, but I’d wager a bet that the guy in question is either directly responsible for their crazy behavior or just a straight up douche-bag (again, he’s telling you this before you even meet him. Girl, no.)

In fact, if you see the phrase “all women are crazy” or “I’m looking for a girl who isn’t psycho” on his Tinder bio, swipe ’em left. I don’t care how hot he is. Any man who talks about women that way is probably fairly misogynistic. ?

Another phrase to watch out for: “I broke up with my ex because she didn’t know how I like my coffee. The same as I like my women – without another dude’s dick in it.” ?

I swear, I’ve seen that on so many Tinder bios. Where the hell are these guys getting that? Who thinks that’s clever? That’s an automatic swipe left.

2. Complaining about Being on Tinder

This is probably one of the red flags I see the most often. Something in their bio about how they “aren’t into the whole online dating thing” or about how much Tinder sucks.

Listen, no one LIKES online dating. I get it. We all get it.

But if you’re complaining about it in your bio, it comes across as overly negative, passive-aggressive, and condescending.

These are usually men who act like they’re too good to be on Tinder and offer some lame version of “We can just tell our families we met at church.” ?

As if online dating is still some sort of taboo and not the most common way that single adults meet in today’s world.

It makes me wonder why the hell you’re on here if you hate it so much. If I’m being honest, it also makes me wonder how intelligent you are. Like, do you think that we’ll see that and think to ourselves, “Oh, I bet he has so many girls lining up to date him IRL, but he’s just giving Tinder a try for the hell of it?” ?

3. Too Sexual, Too Soon

Anyone who sends you an unsolicited dick pic is an automatic no go. ? That should be a RULE.

This also applies to the guy who starts sending you sexual messages shortly after exchanging hello’s.

Hey, how are you today?

I’m alright, just trying to stay sane with all this COVID mess.

Maybe it’d help if we got naked together 😉

Wait. What? That was a pretty quick leap. ?

And of course, there are the guys who’s very FIRST message says something dirty. Nope. Next.

3. Staying Anonymous for “Work”

I don’t know about you, but I’ve seen a lot of guys with faceless pictures on Tinder.

Sometimes they’re shirtless (usually they’re shirtless, actually), but sometimes they’re not. In their bio they say something about how they’re keeping their identity (their face) hidden “because of work” but that if you match, they’ll send you a picture.

Yeah, buddy. I’m not buying it.

Who’s employer has some sort of rule against dating? Is your boss browsing Tinder to make sure no one at the company is on there? That’s got ‘red flags’ vibes written all over it. ?

The ONLY possible way that this would make sense is if you work for OK Cupid or Bumble. And that’s a stretch.

The more likely reason? They’re married. Or committed. Or a felon. That’s a big no for all three.

(And, yes, I can recognize the irony of this one considering my own anonymity here – BUT I’m not trying to date you. Anonymous blogging is cool – anonymous dating… not so much.)

5. A Butt-load of Baggage

I know, I know, I said in my last post that you shouldn’t let a potential matches’ baggage deter you right from the start. But there is some baggage that shouldn’t be ignored.

If he’s still living with his ex, for example. ? (See my story about Adam for a more in-depth explanation of why this is a huge red flag.)

Or if he’s still married. I’ve seen a lot of guys on dating sites who are married but unhappy and say that they’re looking for a new relationship…uh, come back when you get a divorce. ?

Divorced is perfectly fine, but recently divorced (as in, sometime in the last 6 months) – they’re probably not actually ready for real commitment (and, yes, there is a story to back this up. But we’ll get there.)


So, what do you think? Have you come across any of these Red Flags on Tinder before? What about the deal-breakers I might’ve missed? Share your thoughts in the comments below!

As always, thanks for reading.


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  1. avatar

    good tips for finding red flags when online dating. I would also add looking for inconsistencies.. because people can be anything online lol

    1. avatar

      That’s a great point! It might be one you’ll only see once you start having regular conversations with them, but absolutely one to look for!

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30ish Lifestyle blogger, relationship "expert," and modern-day agony aunt.
Sometimes humorous, always honest.